You know how 2016 pretty much kicked us in the stomach only to kick us in the teeth two seconds later? Well guess what? 2017 is already worse than that! But that isn’t what this post is about. This post was originally supposed to be a Super Single Woman post, but I haven’t been feeling well and I didn’t get time to draw (I hear you saying it didn’t look like those comics took time to draw…you can go to Heck – I’m sure they’d welcome visitors). Then I thought, maybe write something about self-care in times of Orangemort’s reign, but that got me thinking about this really scary Motherboard article I read, so I scrapped that too. I was getting ready for bed and did my final check of Facebook and came across a post from my friend Adonis about Emmett Till (Shout out Adonis for keeping me woke). So I read it, got super angry, researched it, and then got piiiiiissssssseeeeed. And this thought came into my head: “Oh I’m going to fight back with the only weapon I have at my disposal: my black belt in petty.”
I am tired of being victimized by the times. If you know me, you know I have become a lot more activism minded than before (relax, it’s just that whole they’ve awakened a sleeping beast thing). So political activism is how I intend to fight for what is right. But how am I going to fight what is wrong? With pettiness. But my version of pettiness. My version of pettiness involves equal parts incredulity, savageness, and humor. For example, the original title of this post was going to be “This Bitch” but I decided it was much more petty to talk about my thought process as to why I am writing about being petty, before I get to the main event, kind of like foreplay. Which I would not know anything about because I am
a good an unlucky girl.
So this bitch
Carol Bryant Donham
Do you know who she is? This is the bitch who in 1955 made the accusation that fourteen year old Emmett Till grabbed her and told her he had experience up north… oh and WHISTLED at her in a country store. Her accusations led to his murder by lynching.
He was kidnapped from his uncle’s house, beaten and tortured beyond recognition, and shot in the head. His body was tied with barbed wire to a cotton gin fan and thrown into the Tallahatchie River. – NYT 1.27.17
Oh you knew that. Well you probably also know that in 2007 the Justice Department failed to get a grand jury to level charges against Bryant for her part in Till’s murder. But did you know that she admitted to a historian that she MADE IT ALL UP?Yes America. Calm Down. We can’t have a war on all fronts. Let me fight this battle for us. To misuse a Hamilton title “I’m Not Throwing Away My Shot.”
Shot One: How are you going to sit there aging for over six decades and not say a damn thing? Not once? Not even when it was acceptable to claim your bigotry and brag about your handiwork? The only way you could have sat on this and not gone insane is that you are a sociopath. Let’s make sure that’s the right term…oh yes.
Shot Two: According to the Vanity Fair article linked above, this Bitch receded into her private life, her family keeps her whereabouts unknown, and she felt ‘tender sorrow’ for what she has done. What a disappointment your family must be to you. They have a conscience that you don’t. You watched Mamie Elizabeth Till-Mobley battle tooth and nail from the day her son was snatched from her, until her death in 2003 for civil rights and equality while you sat around and did NOTHING and all your bitch ass can muster is ‘tender sorrow?’
Let me just leave this photo here.
Featured Photo is Bettman/Corbis from The Smithsonian
You see that lady holding onto Mrs. Till-Mobley as her soul dies? That woman is exhibiting tender sorrow. You know what you feel tender sorrow for? When your 90 year old grandparent goes quietly into the light; You will miss them, but it is time. But here you are 82 years old and I am actively wishing every second of life you have left is spent in agony borne of nightmares from your lies. I wish that your dreams relay the exact punishment waiting for you in the afterlife (and even if there is no such thing as the afterlife, I still hope your nightmares are so vicious that sleep becomes a punishment, not a respite). You went on and led a life. The men you incited to kidnap and kill a young boy also lived full jail-free lives. Really does anyone know Joyce L. Chiles? Wait can we bring perjury charges and/or murder charges against this sociopath under this Administration? No? Waking nightmares it is then.
Shot Three: Sucks for you because now and forever and retro-actively your name and personhood and character are linked to this tragedy. And while white supremacists are in the White House and their little like-minded cockroaches come out of hiding, there are still decent Americans among us. In fact, the number of decent Americans could fill the empty spaces from the inauguration 10 times over. And those Americans will always think of lying snake murderers when they hear the name Carolyn Bryant Donham. And your picture in the history books will instantly leave a bad taste in people’s mouths. Your grandchildren (something Emmett Till was, but would never have) will probably never claim you. I hope that one emo teen grandkid just rolls their eyes when they see you and dismiss you as a waste of space and oxygen, because you kind of are.
Shot Four: Guess what you old bitch? There are probably a lot of janky women like you who caused/stood by while an innocent Black Man became the strange fruit in the lynching trees of the deep South. And you all suck. But you suck the most. The only good thing that came out of your life is that your gross actions led to the galvanization of the Civil Rights Movement. I hope a lot of psychologists seek you out and harass you for the rest of your life because they want to interview and study you and probe you and learn why you are a garbage human being so that maybe they can better diagnose this specific brand of sociopathy in the future. Hopefully they name it after you, cementing your legacy as representative of bad things no one wants a part of.
If you have more of a problem with me being mean to an old woman than you do with what the old woman did, which was murder, then maybe we can agree that you and I have different perspectives on the world and keep it at that.
Justice may be blind, but petty is all seeing.
Thing Keeping Me Sane This Week: I tried really hard to stay sane by stopping and thinking logically, but I am up writing a piece at 230 AM about an old ass bitch, so you tell me if I am sane. Something I enjoyed a lot of last week was nothing, my life is consumed with waiting for the fall of western civilization. ‘Should I horde water or water filtration systems?’ is a question I ask every night before I try to sleep. Oh well, at least I am not an old lying ass bitch.