By Laura

For his last birthday, Sweet Pea received some bath colors – those cute little things he can color all over the place in the tub and I can wash away. It’s educational and fun! His favorite color is yellow. He calls it “yellololoo”. And then he ate it. Oops. I panicked to remember if there was label about the ingredients and toxicity. Hello internet: NON-TOXIC and we both live to fight another day.

I read the other posts this week about being fake and trolling (excellent reads down below!) and then an article about labeling a cookie package with how many squats you need to burn 2 cookies (another excellent idea).

There is a fight in the world about labels and honesty. Are we too dumb to realize what we are eating without help or are “they” lying about what the put in the food? Is it possible to be well educated and still like reality television? Do labels pigeon hole us or tell the truth? I say both.

I took a work-forced management training seminar that informed me I am direct. There were three (3) other categories which ranged from touchy feely to “eh” to me. People were down right offended they turned up in the floopy category and weren’t considered serious types. I declined to point out they answered the questions about themselves and no one forced them to want to talk things over rather than make a decision.

So here is my theory: if you are labeled and don’t like it, then change it, but before ripping off that tag, consider if the label you’re toting around speaks the truth. Maybe I’m not typecasting you as a hobbit; maybe you trooped that direction on your own.

Imagine when you met a person if you could read their label. I don’t mean their personal description – we sell the best version of ourselves with shades of camouflage; I mean the truth. Would it help your relationship (platonic or romantic) if you go in with some honesty? Imagine if you were able to see your own label?

I know I know, you’re thinking this is what dating or marriage is all about or this is how you become BFFs – you take the time to learn things about each other. I’m not saying this label is exclusive and again, the label can be changed by your own doing. It’s just something in addition to the “Hello, My Name is …….” sticker we awkwardly adhere to our boob. Think of it as a truthful “Continued from other side” sticker for the other boob.

If you’re required to be honest on your label, what would it say?

I will love you more than you love me; I will stop being your friend when something new comes into my life; I want to comfort you, but I don’t know how to; I hate dogs; I am still a wildly inappropriate 13-yr old boy inside; I am unsure about my sexuality; I am power hungry; My religion says I should hate you; I want to name my child Thatcher; I am terrified of dying alone; I will sacrifice your freedom for chocolate; I don’t believe I am worthy of you; I drink too much wine; I always need a nap; I deflect my body images with humor; I don’t always wear deodorant; I couldn’t figure out how not to be here; I have been burned deeply before, and it makes me wary of you