By Laura

We shared a post a while back about what we take when you’re ill. And sure there are loads of drugs to take, but how do you turn off your mind?! Last week, my 2 ½ year old son picked up a stomach flu that his really really perky teacher warned me about. (Note to teacher: be more serious when discussing possible illness and my child. You’re great with him, but let’s work on our adult conversations).

Why did evolution give me, the mother, a keen sense of hearing that woke me up from a dead sleep at 3:26 am on a Thursday to him crying and covered in ick, but that same evolution not give me 20/20 night vision, a stronger bladder and a bed head that didn’t scare him worse?!

So by 5:45 am, he was in his third set of pajamas, second bed, tenth towel, I decided to stay home with him (ha ha like I had a choice – Montezuma’s revenge was about the start and there are some things written in stone a mother gets to handle first).

By the next 24 hours my own illness attacked and while MY OWN MOTHER says it wasn’t the flu because it didn’t last as long as hers (WTF MOM?!), my fever of 101.4,  my cough, my nose, my addled mind begged to differ. Anyways…..

The exhaustion and drugs did weird things to my dreams and thoughts. So I want to know, how do you shut them out and get some real sleep?! I know you’re asking – what weird things? I kept a list of sh!t I couldn’t answer over 4 days of our illness:

[Graphic Transcribed:]

Why did I give him sloppy joes? It looks like he’s a zombie in dark. Where are all the towels? Why is the hallway blocked?! I’ve created a fire trap and we will all perish. This little one is sick; the littler one isn’t, but I’m super mom I can keep them both myself today. 5 minutes later: I am an idiot. How does he know that’s not just water?! Medicine is good – swallow kid. Nope nope nope – oh sweetie, I’ll get some more towels and crackers. Why am I sweating and freezing?! I don’t needs boobs. Seriously, they are fat blobs and are creating havoc in my life. My god this fool doesn’t respect the rule of law? WTH is a ‘so-called judge’.  Why is there another child giggling and *&^% on me?! Man, she’s cute though. Why is my leg numb? Chop it off – I can live without it. Is Sesame Street smarter than our government? I just need sleep!! How come the left nostril is dry and letting in oxygen but the right one is really dry, crusty, red, flaky, and snotty at the same time?!