I have been here physically, but not mentally. But I’m still here. And I found a poem I wrote in 2006 that just happens to be relevant again.

I don’t know why people lie. It never leads to anything good.

What if you’ve created a lie that has become your life?

Maybe something benign, like “I am a good person”
When you are actually a selfish, depressed, friendless, promiscuous alcoholic who enjoys gossiping and watching the suffering of others to feel good about your own pathetic existence.

Maybe something bigger, like “I love you”
When you are actually already with someone else, but don’t have the guts to look him in the eyes and tell him that what you had is over.

Maybe something demented, like “she did it”
When you are actually the one who did, but in your head you have created the story that you wish had happened, which is the one where she did it, and you are completely innocent and had nothing to do with it.

I don’t know why people lie.

What if you stumbled so far in to the world of lies
That you actually start believing that the lies are the truths
and that the truths are the lies that you shouldn’t tell.

You shall know the truth
And the truth shall set you free

The Tower faces the Capitol and
Everyday the Tower tells you this.
But will the Tower tell you–
You may know the truth
And the truth may enslave you forever?

I don’t know why people lie.

It makes everything harder when they leave.
Her family and her friends piece together the parts they knew
To put together the story
Of her.

I don’t know why people lie, but I can tell you this.
As you continue to search for answers,
don’t lose sight.

For there may be no answer
and you will know too little again
or there will be an answer and you will know too much
forever

They say the truth hurts, and maybe it does
But lies hurt more.
They just keep stinging,
Even after death.

I don’t know why people lie.

Lie to yourself all you want.

Just don’t lie to me anymore.

–Rashee Raj, March 2006