by Sneha
Believe it or not, this use to work fabulously; however in the recent years, let’s just say, I have been known to cheat! We all justify our actions and to some extent it’s good. But what happens when you use any excuse to splurge? I mean treating ourselves on a random day for some random reason. It’s good but some of us, like yours truly, has been taking advantage to a point where an intervention may be needed. Let me explain.
It all started off with a small reward for things like having a good day by compliments or volunteering, or getting a good grade/passing, or winning a trial. Celebrating with a night out with friends, a pedicure, or dessert was common. Then it evolved to bigger items such as clothing ($ items and suits), a new pair of shoes, a massage or even luxury items that I don’t need and can’t afford: Jimmy Choo and Marc Jacobs – I hate you but I can’t help it, I love you! (addiction, topic we will discuss later)
Then I realized that this bleeds into other parts of my life too on how I justify making certain decisions or sacrifices:
- Blaming my career for missing out or opting out of experiences in my personal life
- Not saving as much as I should have (sorry mom) because life is short so enjoy it/buy it
- Using my school debt as an excuse for not traveling
- Relying on fate when I should have taken more risks
- Not working out because I’m sore
- Ordering take out because I have no groceries (meaning I just don’t want to be creative)
So here goes. My name is Sneha and I’m a chronic Justifier. Is that even a word? Well, whatever, I’ve made an admission and completed my first step. Why do we justify our decisions: to make us feel better, while all the time knowing it’s wrong? Lately I’ve been thinking my justification is as simple as because it makes me happy. Period. Shouldn’t that be the justification for everything? I propose a solution: that we base our decisions on whether it makes us happy, healthy or laugh. Then we can never go wrong! But don’t you worry, I will definitely continue to treat myself to a glass of wine, a random pedicure or a huge slice of cake after even the smallest accomplishment, like being nice to someone I don’t like. Don’t judge. But I welcome feedback.
SistersInLawBlog 
Beautiful post – could relate to it completely. My own self-analysis is that we give ourselves “justification” in order to give ourselves permission to do something that our otherwise intelligent analytical mind is telling us is excessive and wasteful and not worth indulging in because the short term gains are far outweighed by the long term losses (the kind you have so astutely listed in your case). I agree it is pertinent to pep up and reward self for small & big victories but if it always in the form of tangible material goods & services, it is usually tricky. Personally I wanna reward myself with something healthier for body, soul and bank account next time I feel I need to be pampered, say a little longer cardio or a higher set of weights etc – that is the challenge I wanna set myself up for coz I am done faffing to myself.
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