by Sneha

We all have them. Don’t deny it. Let’s just hope we aren’t guilty of some or any! Bear with me as I get this off my chest.

I ADORE my grandma. She’s the sweetest lady but OMG she smacks her food, all her food, even her gum! Drives me insane especially on a 5 hour drive home, in traffic, but surprisingly after a good 45 minutes, I find it endearing because I love her. Don’t get me wrong, if it were anyone else, I’d toss your ass out on the highway!

Is it wrong to have pet peeves or is it the simple fact that we, as society, excuse rude behavior? Where have our manners gone? Like chewing with your mouth open, GROSS! I don’t want a preview as to how it’ll eventually come out. I remember my mom forcing me to go to this etiquette class in middle school, hated it but so glad I went: how to properly eat/twirl spaghetti; how to sweeten your ice tea without banging the packet against your palm (yes I’m from the south); how to properly shake someone’s hand; how to politely leave the table or even call the waiter; all the way to which fork and spoon to use at the appropriate time during a meal. Now as an adult, I’m shocked to see how many of my colleagues don’t know!

So the pet peeves. Those who know me may say I’m a bit opinionated, a little hateful and may have zero tolerance; whatever, here goes.

• Rude people:
  • 1) customer service, look lady if you’re unhappy then find another job, I’m not chipper either after having to hold for 30 minutes or
  • 2) strangers – just say thank you, sorry, or excuse me…it won’t kill you I PROMISE!
• People who post selfies while working out, unless you’ve run a marathon or won a gold medal, don’t post it. Because NO ONE CARES! Newsflash: We ALL work out!
• Smacking your food!
• People who think it’s acceptable to have a loud conversation on their cell phone in a confined public space. (how does your battery not die!?)
• Not covering your mouth when you yawn or worse, sneeze! (no one wants to see that!)
• Having bad breath and thinking it’s OK to whisper in my ear!
• Arriving in public smelling like old underwear and dead body parts from the 1980s. (I meant to say personal hygiene, but this has a more lasting effect)
• Liars, especially when you’re OH SO bad at it! Newsflash # 2: we aren’t dumb!
• Cheap people; just call it what it is, be true to yourself, don’t make excuses.
• Slow MF drivers who won’t leave the left lane! (I curse you to no end!)
• Then we have those drivers that brake due to any shift in the wind. (I wish I had a taser)
• People who think its ok to ask “what are you” – I’m human you dumb ass!
• Not picking up your dog’s poop! One of the reasons I curse first thing in the morning.
• People who eat off your plate! GROSS order your own or ASK! Cheap ass. See above.
• Misspelled words; come on people, lets try to at least get our GEDs!
• People who interrupt you (I was guilty of this until a good friend pointed it out and then holy shit, I notice it everywhere, manners people!)
• Last but not least: airport security. If you don’t already know what to do, please don’t fly! If you hold up the line because you’re stupid, you should be arrested!

I probably have a hundred more, but I’ll stop. My mom tells me I need to meditate, calm down, let it go…does it help? NO. I can’t seem to excuse the lack of proper basic manners, etiquette or politeness…it’s what they teach us in grade school! So I ask you am I the only one who is going mad with all this crap or should I seek professional help? (don’t answer…I don’t need help…it’s those impolite animals who need a good teaching. Let’s see what I can do. Don’t worry, I’ll make y’all proud)