I know you’re thinking knock offs like shoes and purses. Nope, I’m talking about what (and who) we encounter everyday: fake compliments, fake promises, fake people and the list goes on! Now I’m not just talking about the casual stuff like ‘how are you’ or ‘I‘ll get back to you.’ You may think it’s the nice or appropriate thing to say when you could care less, but that’s just the beginning.
I’m not being cynical, hear me out.
It starts with fake small talk but the scary part is that this has become such a big part of our daily lives that we just accept it and go along with it. When do we call it what it is; what it smells like; what it looks like; total and complete bullshit?
Now, I don’t have all the answers but I ask you, do you seriously mean what you say and do every time? And if no, then why? Is there an unwritten rule that we have to be fake nice to each other? We aren’t in grade school. Has it become an accepted or polite means to exchange “hellos” as we quickly pass each other in the hall or on the street? I’m sure there are about 10 of yall out there who truly mean it so yall can stop reading but for the rest of yall, WTF are we doing? Ask yourself: how many times do you really care? What happens when someone we ask stops to tell us how they actually are and we think, oh shit, I was just being nice but I really have to go?! You know you’ve done it. Why aren’t we true to ourselves and treat each other with respect. A smile or a nod or a short greeting like good morning will do just fine.
To be completely honest, I pride myself on not being fake, but I know I’m one of the very few. Is it an admirable trait? Or am I being rude and not conforming to the norm? (pause to ponder) I’ve decided, fuck that! I want those around me who I compliment, spend time with, text, call, and care for to know that my gestures are genuine! I’ll say hi if I mean it and ONLY ask how you are if I care. Or else, a smile will suffice; the rest is just a nod….don’t judge. We all do it. Or we wish we could.
I respect those who are true to themselves. We don’t all have to like each other, we just need to “get along” meaning ignore each other’s stupidity and agree to disagree. Is it hard, yes, but is it necessary, YES! I love the constant social interaction that my career demands but just like anything else, there are politics, haters and those we all just have to agree to deeply dislike (I’ve been advised I shouldn’t hate…post for another day). However, I am helpful and fair to everyone and never let my personal opinions cloud business. On the other hand, when it’s dealings outside of work, all bets are off and I refuse to waste any of my personal time on pretending to like anyone. Lots, lots, LOTS of mentors, bosses, and friends have advise that I change; that I need to be friendlier or more social. But then I think why? In hopes to further my career? To make sure those I could care less about think I actually like or respect them? If that’s the case, I’m happy where I am even though it may mean I never advance. My goal is better to be respected for who I am versus pleasing society’s demands of fake ass kissing.
I accept that everyone does it to some extent, MAYBE even me (completely unintentional I promise!) Is it just to avoid the awkward interaction between 2 people who don’t care for each other or is it to be polite? Next question – how is lying or “faking it” being polite? I say we call it what it is. I tolerate you and I know you do the same. We can smile or even nod and let each other go on our own merry way; no bullshit, no lies and definitely no fake shit. Think about it. Only solution I see for me is if I get botox; expensive and sounds painful so hell no, but stay tuned.