Failure to Thrive? Not on My Watch.

I missed posting last week. Suffice it to say I am not doing well in some parts of my life. I know things will get better. I know things will become easier. I don’t know why, but I know this. I am on the cusp of some great things in other parts my life. I am coming out of a very dark period and I am just about to step into the light. But what do you do when everyone around you has given up?

It is never easy. Sometimes life beats me down, other times I beat myself down. Some days, the enemy wins. But I keep getting back up. I keep getting out of bed – even when I don’t want to – because I know I matter. I get out of my pajamas because there is a reason and a purpose to my life. Of course by my mid-thirties, I think I should be somewhere by now, but the journey keeps me going. After all, the journey is life, isn’t it?

Johns Hopkins Children’s Center says that Failure to Thrive in children is when “weight or rate of weight gain is significantly below that of other children of similar age and gender. Infants or children that fail to thrive seem to be dramatically smaller or shorter than other children the same age.” There is an added note that “there is a wide variation in what is considered normal growth and development.” We are not all on the same timeline. Some of us are always “small,” but that doesn’t mean we truly fail to thrive. We just take longer to become as big as everyone else. Or maybe we are bigger in other places – maybe our hearts, maybe our minds. My value, very clearly at my age, has nothing to do with my physical stature (or lack thereof).

It is so hard for me to speak motivational words. I like to hear them and to have them spoken over me, but it’s hard for me to repeat them to myself and believe them. So let me speak them to you:

You don’t know how close you are to the finish line.
You don’t know what great things are in store for you.
You don’t know that the greener pasture you’ve been searching for is just around the corner.
You don’t know, and you may never get to know, but you have to keep searching, stretching and yearning.
You have to thrive.
You are already thriving.
You are here for a reason.
You already have the courage to stand up and try again, and again and again.
You already have the courage to be vulnerable, to be authentic, to gently self-correct and to be seen even when you are scared and especially when you feel like you are not enough.
You do not have to live up to anyone else’s expectations.
Not at all.
There are no boxes that have to be checked, and if there were, you already checked them.
We all end up the same in the end, so live your best life for yourself and not for anyone else, because they simply do not matter.
You are worthy and deserving of love and belonging.
You are imperfect and still, you are enough.

Go forth and conquer this weekend, friends.

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