Dating is NOT for the faint of heart.
Recently, I met a guy on one of those apps. Things seemed to be going well via text. There was some witty banter and intellectual conversation which indicated he was educated enough since he used the correct your & you’re in a sentence. We also exchanged some PG pics of ourselves that we weren’t able to see on the app amidst all the texting. Something that struck me as odd was how fixated on MY physical appearance he seemed to be. Granted, in his profile, it stated he liked curvy women. I didn’t think much of this and figured it was just a preference of his. Based on the pics he sent, he was cute. I wasn’t hung up on anything about him specifically. He was able to keep my interest and held a decent conversation. Those few factors, simple as they may sound, are hard to come by with guys from those apps. Though I wanted to talk on the phone, we mostly texted for the next few days. I think it’s hard to understand the context of a text. Plus, I also was curious on what his voice sounded like and wanted to confirm he didn’t have a speech impediment (I’ve had a history with those.) We decided enough with the texting it was time to meet. Drinks on Tuesday was set.
2/22 happened to be National Margarita Day. Not that I’m a huge fan of margaritas, however, I do love celebrating those non-traditional ‘holidays.’ It also happened to be a Monday. Like most mornings, I struggled to get out of bed and get my butt in gear. I threw on some clothes, put my hair in a wet braid because I was too lazy to actually dry or style it. I slapped on enough makeup to ensure my coworkers didn’t ask if I was feeling ok and off I went. This particular morning I had to run an errand before work and just so happened to drive by his place of employment. We were already texting at this time and I casually mentioned my drive by to which he jokingly referred to me as a stalker and suggested I come in for lunch that day. I mentioned I looked and felt like a Monday and would prefer to wait until our planned time to meet so I could be more presentable. He mentioned I should be more spontaneous and not to worry about what I looked like.
The day went on and like normal, I changed into my workout clothes at work like I do most evenings. It’s just something I do to kind of trick myself into going to work out straight from work. I get a text from him informing me it was National Margarita Day (which I already knew because I had one at lunch) and how he loved margs and wanted to go to a local Tex Mex restaurant to celebrate, his treat, he added. First red flag, what straight man admits they love margaritas?! Second, if you’re asking me out, of course you’re going to be your treat. It’s rules of invitation (not really sure if that’s a thing.) Third, why was he so anxious to meet?! It kind of made me nervous. He caught me one of those days. I didn’t feel like working out or cooking dinner that night for that matter so, I accept his invitation. I warned him that was in workout clothes and since it was last minute, that’s as presentable as I was going to be. I was rockin’ an old Turkey Trot longsleeved shirt, long fitted workout pants with a black/gray marble design, tennis shoes and my hair in a messy bun. Nothing cutesie about this look.
I get to the restaurant before him and waited in my car. When he arrived, he texted me stating he was standing in the parking lot near the entrance waiting for me. As I walked up, I noticed a guy standing with a little bit of a slouch/hunch. Not standing up straight, excited to meet someone. This was him. We walked toward the entrance and like a gentleman, opened the door for me. Manners are a plus in my book. The hosts asked how many were in our party and told us it’d be about a 5 minute wait. He put his name on the list and we stepped aside to wait. At this time he thanked me for meeting him up last minute and jokingly I said it was my way of being ‘spontaneous.’ We made small talk and then he says, “You’re thicker than what I thought from your pictures.” My face must have reacted like ‘WTF dude’ after he said this. He immediately ensured me it was a good thing and that he liked it. Either way the damage was done. Instantly, I felt insecure and uncomfortable. All this before being seated for dinner?! It was going to be a long date. I could have addressed it right when it was said but, I didn’t want to cause tension or make the entire date awkward. During dinner he was trying to be flirty and everything he said or told me was going in one ear and out another. I mean, the dude just didn’t have game. He was no Casanova. He even tried to hold my hand at the table. The dinner was nearing the end and he suggested we continued hanging out. I thanked him for dinner, but declined since I had to be at work the next morning and I didn’t want to stay out too late. He was very touchy with me throughout the date and wanted me to know he was attracted to me. He kissed me a few times but, I wasn’t interested. I make it home and we text a bit before I went to bed.
The next morning all I could think about was the fact that he called me THICK. Thick may not seem bad but, at that moment to me, it was. He basically sugar coated, “you’re a little fatter than I thought.” Maybe I was feeling a little sensitive when he said it but, I festered on this. Was I deceiving men in my choice of pics on my profile?! Sure, I select the best ones but, there are full body pictures along with the selfies. Maybe I am fatter than what I see in the mirror. I’m really an honest person and certainly don’t want to be a catfish story. This put me in a funk and a mood all day. I vented about what was said to my work girlfriends and even one of the guys we normally lunch with. They all gave me their perspective and unanimously agreed that he was just a jerk with poor choice of words. I know I shouldn’t have let what this idiot said get to me but, I did. Those words hurt and I couldn’t figure out why I allowed it to do so. He wasn’t anyone special. I didn’t like him nor had feelings invested. Later that evening, I reflected on how I let words get to me and thought I really wasted a day over some BS and decided I will not allow it to go over to the next day. So what, he called me THICK, F@*K him. On to the next!