by Laura

I have a pimple and it is affecting my life (or at least my evening). #firstworldproblems

I hit puberty early (5th / 6th grades). I don’t wish to overboard with detail and I only mention it because it was a long long time ago. Like 28 years ago. Do you know how effing long ago that was?! I looked up some facts:

• Movie tickets were $3.50 (and we were seeing Rain Man, Big, Twins, Coming to America)
• Avg. Monthly rent was $420
• Computer mouse: $90
• George H.W. Bush was elected and said “Read my lips: no new taxes”
• George Michael was all over the Billboard music chart

Why is it there have been so many advancements in technology and medicine, but my skin tends to explode at random like a tween? And this isn’t a cute little pimple you can pop and cover up. This is a subcutaneous monstrosity that I can feel without twitching a muscle.

I have grey hair, sagging parts, curves where things should be flat, I don’t get carded for alcohol or tobacco products. Isn’t that enough to prove I’m of age to opt out of something?! Apparently not. There are pages and pages of ‘medical’ notes for treating acne and old age. Sigh.

Well I have a solution. Wash my face, have a drink and go to bed. D@mn it I’m old and tired and this thing isn’t going anywhere. Tomorrow will be a new day and hopefully, if I’m nice enough to this one, it will just go away and not clog up any other effing pores.