As the impending hallmark holiday known as Valentine’s Day is upon us, I will not be cynical and refer to it as Single’s Awareness Day. Instead, I will try to be an advocate of love. Not the cheesy sappy romantic kind with rose petals spread about, slow jams softly playing in the background, and candlelight; but the kind of love that literally changes what you thought love should be and feel like.
Like a lot of women, my idea of love stemmed from being fed the fairy tale story lines from romantic comedies and those damn Disney princess movies. You know…girl meets boy, funny shenanigans/drama, boy wins girl’s love, more funny shenanigans/drama, a song and dance scene maybe, they fall in love she turns into a princess and they live happily ever after.
Here’s what happens in real life:
- Girl and boy meet via social media/gym/work/etc.
- They start texting/emailing which may or may not spark up interest for more.
- There’s a little chasing but mostly schedule conflicts. Both agree to ‘hang out’. Drinks might be had, THINGS might happen and then… poof! Someone gets ghosted.
Life happens and there are other options in the sea of singles. This is not what happens with everyone but, it’s definitely the new norm in a society where flowers have been replaced with 6-packs, ‘Netflix & Chill’ is an acceptable first date, and if you happen to run into them in public, they’re stage 5 clingers or stalkers.
To my surprise this is definitely NOT how I thought dating, finding, then falling in love would be like. Where’s Prince Charming? I’ve kissed the frog, amongst other things, now what? I refuse to give up hope on love. I know chivalry is not dead and there are still decent people out there willing to put in the same amount of effort to nurture relationships and build a good foundation for love to grow. I’ve seen it happen with my very eyes and attended countless weddings to celebrate their love.
As a realistic optimist, I’ve come to understand that love is not easy, cute, & funny like the movies made it seem. Prince Charming may work 60 hours a week and texting you once a day to let you know he hasn’t forgotten about you might be as good as it’s going to get some days. A 6-pack of beer is acceptable depending on what kind of person you are. Running into a person you might have dated before IS coincidental sometimes.
In conclusion, love is lot of work from both parties. It’s tons of compromising, and a constant reminder to not to lose your sense of self because after all, there was just one and one before two became one.