by Laura

I gave you a little bio. A ‘getting to know you’ snippet. My problem is that I lied and I always seem to on these things. Come on, doesn’t everyone?! If I actually knew how to be more social, these forms wouldn’t be necessary. We’d just talk and laugh and instantly become lifelong friends.

The worst for me is the movie. SO MUCH PRESSURE. Do I go big, indy, dark, raunchy, thought provoking, comedy or classic? Most recent flick: Um…. (crickets chirping) Is it creepy to mention that I love the Muppets (my favorite is the Muppets Caper!) if I also mention that I’m pushing *** years old?!

Truth be told, I’m embarrassed. So I lie. The problem with lying (other than it’s a lie, duh) is that your lie can turn into something awkward. Like your future husband thinking you’re serious that you like everything and drag you repeatedly to those psychological thrillers. Nope, sorry, I did not enjoy seeing that man brutally torture that little child / woman / animal / innocent; even if it was off-screen, I still knew what he was doing. Didn’t it intrigue you? No, I was revolted. (Side note: my husband doesn’t only like these wacked out movies – his favorite is Jeremiah Johnson. In that movie, every scene is the best scene in the movie. Just ask him, his father, or his brother.)

I play it safe and list a random comedy – less chance to offend if we’re all laughing. I usually pick one that everyone knows (Dirty Dancing “Nobody puts Baby in the corner”; Top Gun “I feel the need….the need for speed”; Pretty Woman “Cindaf*ckingrella”)

So here it goes, you don’t know me, and if you do, you will just shrug it off and say it’s not that bad. But to me the truth is terrifying. It’s like admitting you still watch Saved by the Bell or Cheaters (I highly recommend Cheaters, if it’s still on – it will make you feel so much better about yourself). What if you judge me the way I would judge you (yeah, sorry, I do that a lot. A lot a lot).

Well, f*ck it. My secret favorite movie: Spaceballs. I own it on VHS, DVD and have a digital copy saved on the DVR. I could recite it word for word right now.

“I bet she gives great helmet”; “Radar about to be jammed”; “I see your Schwartz is as big as mine”; “He shot my hair. Son of b!tch shot my hair!”

Rick Moranis owned Lord Helmet. His costume alone was so comical that I often wonder how he wore it without falling over. Can you imagine him on set? Walking past that?!

We lie (I lie) so that people will love us / me and don’t think we’re the weird one. Well here is a little bit of truth about me: My favorite movie is Spaceballs and if you don’t like it then here is a meme just for you…